Fear

I read a quote the other day. It stated “I’m never worried about having enough inspiration. I’m worried that one lifetime will never be enough to execute it all.”

If there was a quote that depicted how I feel in my life right now in this moment…that would be it.

Let’s rewind…a little bit about myself. My name is Nikki and I’m a 24 year old young professional living in good ol’ millennial hub of Arlington, VA – a mere 10 minutes outside of our nation’s capital. I would consider myself a social media/foodie/fitness/health/fashion/travel buff. I love exploring cool places and learning about how other people live their lives.

I would say I have a very heightened outlook on life; living with cancer can have that affect on you. Multiple surgeries, tons of scans, and countless medications later I would consider myself a stable, happy and healthy gal. But, it still doesn’t make the scans every 6 months any easier. You’re constantly in this 6 month to 6 month limbo…you just never know. Back in the summer of 2014, I had gotten back to the US from an amazing 2 months abroad, only to be told that I needed lung surgery because unfortunately my cancer had spread. Stable wasn’t a word I could use anymore. A few weeks later I was in surgery. You just have to drop whatever you’re doing, everything that matters to you, and do literally what ever you can to try and save your body. That is a fear I don’t think I an put into words.

Fear. This word follows us all around…all day, every day. We live and breathe around fear; even when it comes to the smallest things: chopping 8 inches off your hair, approaching that cute guy at the bar, going skydiving, etc. Life isn’t about letting that fear in – it’s about continuing on, looking fear in the eyes and saying “nice try”. There’s so much fear in my life…except it’s a fear that I won’t be able to do everything I want to do in my lifetime. I want to travel, I want to read books that make me re-think everything, I want to write, I want to love, laugh…I want to live LOUD. I want to enjoy every part of this life, because you just never know what the next day is going to bring. I want to cherish my family and the relationships I have with my friends, but I also want to cherish myself. The past year I’ve made a lot of lifestyle changes: eating clean, putting fitness first, and really just overall happiness. I want 2017 to be a year of firsts. I want to see new places and do things I’ve never done before; starting with this blog.

I hope you all enjoy, and stay tuned! 😛